I was blessed to be raised by godly parents who faithfully served the Lord in several different churches with many different styles and sizes. Even though my father passed away in 2023, he is still my hero in many ways.

Being under his leadership both in the home and in the church, I was able to observe “life” with a different perspective. Never once did I question his love for his family and his church, and never once did I ever question his loyalty to his family and his church.

I have been in the ministry now since 1992 and have filled almost every ministry position in the church. Whether that period was long or short, the point I am making in this article is about the perplexing problem for many pastors (all staff members really).

It’s amazing how we can feel sometimes even when we are always around people — and still feel lonely at times. That we feel as if we know things about people, but we really don’t know people and they don’t know us. This perplexing problem can grow on a pastor, and if not properly dealt with can lead to many other problems.

Loneliness – the perplexing problem for pastors is confusing, baffling and puzzling. I don’t want this to be about psychology, but how can one feel so isolated when at the same time they spend much time in small and large groups? I don’t intend to fully answer and solve that problem here, but I do want to offer some practical methods that all pastors should exercise.

Don’t Miss Your Time Reading and Praying – this may seem like the all-time go-to answer, but it applies here as well. When you feel lonely or isolated, open God’s Word and begin to read and mediate upon what you read. Talk to God through prayer, but most of all listen to God. Listen to Him through His Word, and listen to Him through prayer.

Don’t Substitute Digital Friendships for Physical Friendships – it’s great that we can keep up with friends and happenings all around the world. The internet and social media have made all these good things possible. But none of those relationships can look you eye to eye and heart to heart when you are experiencing loneliness. Only those who are present with us in the flesh are able to see our expressions and hear our feelings.

Devote Yourself To Others – being in the ministry requires the pastor to be friends with all in his congregation. There are always those who are easier to love and others who require more grace to love. However, there are a few that we should devote ourselves to in deep relationships. Make yourself vulnerable and trust those around you who love and trust you.

Dedicate to Make a Phone Call or Send A Text and Ask for Prayer – one of the great joys I have about the technology I use is being able to respond via the phone or through text to pray for a pastor. My office contact information is below – if you feel lonely and need a friend I’m here. If you are confused about the perplexing problem of a pastor’s loneliness – I’m here for you today and always.